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| [Before Havoc hits the airwaves the lights in MacArthur court go dim. A brief montage begins playing on the Jumbo-tron. The crowd begins to buzz. A shot of Richard Cormier sitting behind his desk appears on the big screen. He has a phone to his ear and he's speaking in a deep, hearty voice. The fans recognize this man as the evil ex-owner of the Atlantic Wrestling Association and current owner of Pacific Northwest Wrestling. The booing begins.] Richard Cormier:: Larry Thompson, my good man. How would you and Olaf feel about joining my new territory here in Eugene, Oregon? [The fans cheer at the mention of their hometown. The shot switches to a bus station where the muscular Larry Thompson is seen stepping off a Greyhound with a duffel bag in hand. Some of the fans cheer in recognition of the chiseled man with the flowing blond hair. Olaf is a step behind him and drills his head on the door frame of the bus as he tries to exit. Thompson looks over his shoulder, but the giant Olaf seems unfazed. The view returns to Cormier's office.] Richard Cormier:: Rory Blaze, how have you been? I'm starting up a new promotion. Pacific Northwest Wrestling. You in? [The scene switches over to boarding gate 1418 at the Newark Liberty International Airport where the "Uncensored Superstar" Rory Blaze is waiting casually for his connecting flight that will eventually lead him to Portland, OR. A portion of the crowd begins booing the cocky wrestler as the well-dressed Blaze continues to wait with a smug grin on his face. The scene fades back to Cormier's office.] Richard Cormier:: Yes, I'm looking for Arkham. You may know him as Mandrake... [The shot switches to an old, coal-powered train chugging along the tracks that parallel Lawton Road. Sitting on the edge of one of the old, withered boxcars is the Kill Devil Hills Daredevil himself, Arkham. His feet hang treacherously close to the tracks that whizz by beneath him. His fiery red hair and goatee whip to and fro in the wind. The fans cheer the man that has become something of a legend in the wrestling community. The train pulls out of view as the camera returns to Cormier's office.] Richard Cormier:: Robert Henry Clay? [The camera pans around to the front of the Baker Brothers Barbershop as the "Southern Nightmare" Robert Henry Clay steps outside. Even though he's just received a haircut, he still appears to be a little rough around the edges. The large man from Beauregard fits his black cowboy hat back into place and heads West. The liberal Eugene faithful aren't familiar with the "Southern Nightmare" but the quiet hissing is a telltale sign that they aren't too keen on the Southerner. Clay walks into the sunset as the camera comes back to Mr. Cormier.] Richard Cormier:: Russell Ziset? I'm sorry. Rusty? [The shot switches to a bird's eye view of Interstate 5, the highway that runs North and South along the Willamette Valley. As the camera zooms in closer, a man can be seen running down the side of this busy highway while cars zip by. The short man is wear nothing but running shoes and a pair of golden shorts. His muscular chest heaves in and out with each stride as he heads South towards Eugene. Suddenly, the man stops. Producing a syringe from his pocket, he drops his shorts slightly and injects himself with what must be a B-12 shot. The crowd begins snickering as the camera fades back into Richard Cormier's office.] Richard Cormier:: Sadistic? ["The Phenom" Billy Sadistic steps out his front door and begins walking down the street. The site of their hometown hero causes the fans to cheer. As he's walking, a taxi rolls by with two large men in the back seat. The smaller of the two men has flowing blond hair and his size 15 work boots hang out the window of the cab. Sadistic shakes his head and does a double take.] Billy Sadistic:: No way... [Sadistic continues down the side walk. Along the other side of the road jogs a short, bulky man in a pair of gold shorts.] Billy Sadistic:: Coach Ziset? [Fifty yards into the woods, Sadistic spots a man with wavy red hair and a long red goatee negotiating the rough terrain with inhuman fluidity. A black stretch limousine rolls by and catches the Phenom's attention. Through the open window in the back Sadistic spots a handsome young man chatting into his G1 phone. Sadistic picks up the pace and hurries in the same direction. Upon rounding the corner, Sadistic spots a good-sized man wearing a black cowboy hat enter MacArthur Court.] Billy Sadistic:: This is going to be insane... [Sadistic begins jogging towards the Pit as the scene fades to black. The green and yellow P.N.W. logo appears on the screen as the lighting resumes.] |
| ["All Nightmare Long" by Metallica starts up as the lighting crew begins whipping spotlights all over the arena. The fans are cheering in anticipation. Richard Cormier is already standing in the ring with microphone in hand.] Richard Cormier:: Ladies and gentlemen...wrestling fans...welcome to Pacific Northwest Wrestling! [This is met with mild cheering.] Richard Cormier:: We've got a solid show lined up for you here tonight. Some of the faces you may recognize, some of them you may not. Regardless, Pacific Northwest Wrestling, just like the Atlantic Wrestling Association, will deliver the goods night after night. The A.W.A. was built from the ground up by a group of young, talented wrestlers that would go on to becomes stars in this industry. Some of those stars have come to make their home here in P.N.W. along with another group of young, talented wrestlers. [The fans continue to listen to the owner of Pacific Northwest Wrestling.] Richard Cormier:: But that's not the reason I came out here tonight. First and foremost, I want to thank all of the fans that came out here tonight to support us. I'd also like to think all of the fans back East that supported the A.W.A. through thick and thin. It's you, the fans, that make this crazy thing we call professional wrestling feel worth it. And for that, I thank you. [The crowd isn't sure what to think at this point, but most of them let out a weak cheer.] Richard Cormier:: So it's with great disdain and regret that I must step down as owner of Pacific Northwest Wrestling. [The crowd listens on in shock.] Richard Cormier:: In truth, I'm only partial owner of P.N.W. along with a few partners. After tonight's show, I'm selling off the rest of my shares and riding off into the sunset with what dignity I have left. It's no secret that I've been going through legal troubles over the past five years, even when I was running the Atlantic Wrestling Association. A combination of that and a poor choice in business partners is forcing me to throw in the towel. [The fans begin booing this decision. Although they despise Richard Cormier as a man, they recognize him as a quality wrestling promoter.] Richard Cormier:: In all honesty, I'm not doing this of my own free will. I'm being strong-armed out of the business arrangement because my plans for P.N.W. don't coincide with the plans that the majority shareholder has for P.N.W. [Cormier simply shrugs.] Richard Cormier:: So I don't have much of a choice in the matter. I've heard through the grapevine that the powers that be will be appointing a new General Manager next week to fill my void when I leave. I wish Pacific Northwest Wrestling the best in its future endeavors. I'd like to thank the fans once again. Let's start the show. ["All in the Suit That You Wear" by Stone Temple Pilots starts up as Cormier drops the microphone and heads to the back. The fans still aren't sure what to make of what's just happened.] |
| Cliff Anderson:: Welcome, fans, to Pacific Northwest Wrestling's debut show! Welcome to Havoc! I'm Cliff Anderson, veteran voice of the old A.W.A., and with me as always is Jack Deruke. Jack Deruke:: How do you say, there, buttnut? Cliff Anderson:: Well, things have certainly started with a bang. Richard Cormier already calling it quits just minutes into the show. Wait, I'm getting word that the camera crew has caught up with Billy Sadistic in the backstage area. [In the wake of this shocking announcement the scene cuts to the backstage area where we find "The Phenom" Billy Sadistic walking to his dressing room. The fans begin cheering at the site of the hometown hero. He rounds the corner and nearly plows into Arkham who was coming from the other direction. Both men stop and stare at each other, their noses only centimeters apart. The fans go silent.] Cliff Anderson:: Ladies and gentlemen, these two men are brothers, and they've beaten the living hell out of each other over the years. Billy Sadistic:: Hello, little brother. [The Kill Devil Hills Daredevil simply stares at his older brother with those unnerving blue eyes. Sadistic looks as if he's becoming frustrated and he turns to leave. Finally, Arkham speaks up.] Arkham:: Hey, remember when I paralyzed you? [This question visibly angers the Phenom.] Billy Sadistic:: I haven't talked to you in nearly three years and that's all you've got to say to me? You've gotta be kidding me. Of course I remember when you paralyzed me! Arkham:: Yeah...that was awesome... [Sadistic looks like he's about to go for Arkham's throat. Unaffected by Sadistic's stare, Arkham methodically maneuvers around his older brother and continues on his way. Just as Arkham is about to round the corner Sadistic speaks up.] Billy Sadistic:: Hey! Remember when you paralyzed me, but then I no-sold it and started wrestling again a year later? [Arkham simply turns and gazes at the Phenom. Sadistic now has a huge grin plastered across his face.] Billy Sadistic:: Yeah? Arkham:: Bill, that was the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Ever. [Arkham turns and walks around the corner as Sadistic frowns to himself. He mutters his next statement under his breath.] Billy Sadistic:: I thought it was funny... |
| [Havoc goes to commercial as Sadistic heads to the locker rooms. An image of a ridiculously muscled man flashes onto the screen wearing a pair of body building shorts. A man with a deep, raspy voice begins speaking.] Voiceover:: HEY! Do you wanna feel SO ENERGETIC?! Try Powerthirst™! Energy drinks for people who need GRATUITOUS AMOUNTS OF ENERGY!!! With all new flavors like SHOCKOLATE! Chocolate energy! [A can of Shockolate Powerthirst™ flashes across the screen.] Voiceover:: It's like adding chocolate to an ELECTRICAL STORM! Sound the alarm! You're gonna be UNCOMFORTABLY ENERGETIC! What's that?! You want strawberry?! Well how about RAWBERRY?! Made with lightning! REAL LIGHTNING!!! [An image of a large man yelling flashes across the screen.] Voiceover:: SPORTS! AHHHH!!! You'll be good at them! It's an energy drink for men! MENERGY!!! These aren't your dad's puns! These are energy puns! TURBOPUNS!!! [An image of a larger-than-life man drinking a can of Powerthirst™ flashes across the screen.] Voiceover:: Powerthirst™! AHHHH!!! [And with that, the commercial comes to a close.] |
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| Cliff Anderson:: Welcome back to Havoc! Thank you to Powerthirst™, one of our great sponsors, for getting us on the air. And speaking of Powerthirst™, the Powerthirst™ Preposterone Championship will be on the line up next in a fatal fourway cage match. The first man to climb out of the cage and reach the floor will be crowned the champion. [Robert Henry Clay, Rusty, and Olaf are already inside the cage awaiting their mystery opponent. Rosco Pico Train is on the outside of the cage yelling encouragement to Olaf even though the match has yet to start. "Hey Man, Nice Shot" by Filter starts up and all attention turns towards the entrance.] Cliff Anderson:: Wait a minute. I recognize that music. That must be... [Willis Clayton emerges from the back to very little fanfare. The crowd seems disappointed. They were obviously expecting somebody better.] Cliff Anderson:: ...Willis Clayton? I was hoping we'd see...I don't know, maybe a Kris Kartier, or a Brian Zane. Maybe even a Jonathan Haze. Oh, well. [Clayton enters the ring, the door is shut and locked behind him, and the bell rings. All three men immediately begin circling Olaf. The Giant German dwarfs all three men. As if on cue, all three men come at Olaf at once. Rosco begins banging on the cage in an attempt to cheer on the man formerly known as Machine. Olaf continues fighting off all three men and eventually plants Willis Clayton with the Goozle!] Jack Deruke:: Ouch! [Olaf turns to climb the cage, but as he does so, Clay and Rusty bounce off the ropes and leap into the back of the Giant German, crushing him into the side of the cage. Momentarily dazed, Olaf drops to a knee. Rusty and Clay charge each other and hit simultaneous clotheslines. All four men are down. Rusty and Southern Nightmare are the first men back to their feet and they start ascending opposite sides of the cage. The fans come to their feet.] Cliff Anderson:: Rusty and Robert Henry Clay have reached the top of the cage! Which one will make it down first?! [Clay and Rusty begin descending the cage. Rusty appears to be a step ahead of the Southern Nightmare. The fans are still standing and the place is getting louder and louder. Just as Rusty is about to reach the floor, Rosco Pico Train is there to stop him! All Clay has to do is drop to the floor!] Cliff Anderson:: Rusty tried to leap off the cage, but Rosco caught him! Robert Henry Clay is gonna win! [The noise is becoming deafening! Just as Clay is about to jump to the floor, one of Olaf's giant hands reaches between the cage bars and locks around the Southern Nightmare's throat! Clay struggles for a moment, then let's go of the cage. Olaf's grip holds strong as Clay's feet dangle only a few feet about the ground! On the other side of the ring, Rosco has Rusty on his shoulders, his feet still having yet to hit the arena floor. Rusty starts wailing on Rosco's bald head with meaty right hands and the manager's knees start to get weak. Clay is still fighting Olaf's grip. Rosco drops to a knee. Olaf's grip looks like it's weakening! Clay breaks free just as Rosco tumbles to the ground! The bell rings!] Cliff Anderson:: Who won?! It was so close! I couldn't tell who hit the ground first! Timothy Cormier:: The winner of this match...and NEW Powerthirst™ Preposterone Champion...! Russellllllll Zisssset! [Upon receiving the championship belt, Rusty drops to his knees in celebration. Just as quickly, he's back up and darts to the backstage area. Some of the fans are cheering. Some of them are snickering.] |
| [The camera cuts to the backstage area and Larry Thompson is livid. He tosses the monitor he'd been watching across the room where it smashes into the wall!] Larry Thompson:: Dammit, Rosco! [As this is happening, Olaf walks into view covered in sweat. Rosco follows closely behind him, his head hanging in shame.] Olaf:: Sorry, Larry. I tried. Bob got heavy. Larry Thompson:: It's okay, big man. I'm not mad at you. [Thompson glares at Rosco Pico Train. Rosco slowly looks up at Thompson, his face full of shame. Without warning, Thompson levels Train with a big right hook! Rosco goes down in a heap!] Larry Thompson:: If things don't go better during MY match, you'll be sorry! [Thompson slaps Olaf on the chest, then storms off. Olaf peers down at Rosco for a moment and waits for a few seconds before following after Thompson.] |
| [As Thompson and Olaf head towards the ring, Arkham walks into view behind them. He spots Rosco on the ground rubbing his jaw and stops. Rosco notices the Abomination of Desolation and his eyes light up. He crawls over to Arkham and latches onto his legs. His head is obviously still a little too rattled for him to fear the Kill Devil Hills Daredevil.] Rosco Pico Train:: Sir! Please! You have to help me! If you beat Larry Thompson, I think they're going to kill me. You have to let Larry win! You have to. [Arkham fixes his cool blue gaze onto the crown of Rosco's head. Rosco slowly looks up and meets Arkham's gaze. He suddenly gasps and retracts his grip. He quickly backs away from Arkham. Arkham's gaze drifts away from the puny manager and he continues his voyage towards the ring.] Cliff Anderson:: Well...that was a little strange. |
| [Thompson is out first, accompanied by Olaf. The fans clearly don't like Larry Thompson. Rosco Pico Train stumbles out after then about twenty paces behind. They make it to the ring and wait for Thompson's opponent.] Cliff Anderson:: Larry Thompson is generally regarded as the most reckless, unpredictable man in this industry. But his opponent, Arkham, is almost unanimously recognized as the most feared. Jack Deruke:: Larry Thompson don't look scared to me, there, liverneck. [Arkham is out next, and he's embraced warmly by the fans. He enters the ring and is immediately attacked by Larry Thompson before the bell even rings.] Cliff Anderson:: Larry Thompson is no stranger to cutting corners. [Thompson continues his assault and pummels Arkham all around the ring. Although Thompson is laying in some heavy blows to Arkham, none of them are enough to put the daredevil down on the mat. Thompson continues to unload some heavy offense as the fans begin to rally behind the Abomination of Desolation. On the outside of the ring, Rosco Pico Train grabs a steel chair and looks to be up to no good.] Cliff Anderson:: Uh, oh. Rosco's got a steel chair. This doesn't bode well for Arkham. [As this is going on, Olaf jumps up onto the ring apron to distract the referee. Thompson hooks Arkham from behind while Rosco slides into the ring with chair in hand. Rosco raises the steel about his head and charges!] Cliff Anderson:: Oh, no! [At the last second, Arkham spits a cloud of green mist into Rosco's face! The fans erupt. Arkham jerks his head back and catches Thompson in the face with a headbutt. Thompson releases his grip which allows Arkham to rip the chair out of the blinded Rosco's hands. Thompson looks up just in time to see the steel chair blast him in the forehead! Again the crowd explodes! Arkham drops the chair, then grabs Rosco by the back of the head and tosses him out of the ring. The referee turns around just in time to see Arkham dropping in for the cover. 1...2...3!] Cliff Anderson:: Rosco's plan backfired, and he's just cost Larry Thompson the match! [Arkham rolls out of the ring and heads to the back as Olaf steps into the ring. Thompson is still a bit groggy.] |
| [Rosco, whose face is still covered with the green mist, feels his way along the ring apron and rolls back into the ring. He's still having trouble seeing. Thompson pulls himself back to his feet, and he doesn't look happy. His angry glare turns to Rosco. The poor manager is crawling around on his hands and knees, searching for Thompson and Olaf.] Cliff Anderson:: They'd better get Rosco to the back so he can wash that mist out of his eyes before it does serious damage. [Thompson shakes his head in disgust, then walks over and helps the poor guy to his feet. Rosco is appreciative of the sympathy, but the fans know better...] Cliff Anderson:: N.K.N. DDT on the steel chair! Good God almighty! Rosco is out cold! [Thompson blows a snot rocket on his unconscious manager before heading to the back with Olaf in tow. The medical staff rushes out from the back to attend to a beaten Rosco Pico Train. The fans are disgusted by the actions of Larry Thompson.] |
| Cliff Anderson:: Well, folks, we're getting word from the back that Rosco Pico Train is being taken to the hospital to treat possible neck injuries. Right now, we're going to take you to an interview that took place earlier today. [The Jumbo-tron comes to life. A pair of legs open the scene walking through what seems to be the backstage area of the Pit. All that can be seen are a pair of all black Diesels and a pair of skinny jeans covering the person's legs. As the camera pans up we see the person carrying a black bag. Tattoos can be seen everytime the man swings his arms although it's unclear what they are. A little further up reveals a belt and black shirt tucked in pants covered by a black and white pin-striped vest. The man is wearing a button that simply has a star on it. A championship belt is on the man's shoulder. The camera pans up to reveal Rory Blaze. As the video plays on the Jumbo-tron the fans let out a wave of cheers. Blaze, who has a huge smile on his face, is tracked down by resident P.N.W. interviewer Reece Williams.] Reece Williams:: Rory? Rory Blaze, can I have a minute? Rory Blaze:: Sure. What's on your mind? Reece Williams:: Well, first off, welcome to P.N.W.! Second, you have a big match tonight and you still don't know who your opponent is. Any comment on that? Rory Blaze:: Reece, the only reason someone hides their identity is out of fear. I'm here, I'm ready. Are they? It's time to come out of hiding and show your face. Pardon the pun, but he's just the first of many as I blaze through the competition. No pun intended, of course. Reece Williams:: One more question, if I may. What title is that, and why do you have it? Rory Blaze:: It's the old A.W.A.'s Atlantic Championship, the belt I retired. Why? I'm just tryin' to get you and the fans used to seeing me with a title on my shoulder. Now, if you don't mind, I gotta go. [Blaze smiles and goes on his way, much to the delight of the fans. Reece watches after him, obviously smitten.] Cliff Anderson:: Rory Blaze, welcome to the Pacific Northwest. We've gotta take a commercial break. Dont go away. |
| [The scene opens to a dastardly man with a wiry moustache haggling a sweet lady over the price and quality of a washer and dryer.] Dastardly Man:: You WILL buy this washer and dryer! Woman:: It’s broken and overpriced! Dastardly Man:: Pay the price! Woman:: Will no one help me? Mr. Appliance:: I’LL save you! [Mr. Appliance, a balding, middle-aged man with bleached hair and a brown moustache, jumps into frame, wearing a karate gi, and quickly disposes of the dastardly man.] Mr. Appliance:: Here you are, ma’am. A quality product at a great price. Woman:: Oh, Mr. Appliance, thank you! [Mr. Appliance looks at the camera and strikes a karate pose.] Mr. Appliance:: There’s no appliance, like Mr. Appliance. Wah! [Havoc returns and we find Rusty in the backstage area with his newly won Powerthirst™ Preposterone Championship slung over his shoulder.] |
| [Rusty has just finished watching the preceding commercial in the locker room. He is, with little reason, enraged.] Rusty:: Mr. Appliance! Act like a man! It seems like everywhere I look, there’s nothing but a bunch of G*d-damned p*ssies! Where are the men in this place? Everywhere I look it’s just sissies! Like Arkham...why don’t you get rid of that stupid beard? [He stops to palm his face.] Rusty:: This is a man’s face! And Sadistic! My fellow Oregonian...it’s too bad you have to make a mockery of our great state! With your stupid tattoos and your...stupid full head of hair! [Ziset snaps, throwing the television across the room. He comes back to Earth, pauses to inject some B-12, and continues.] Rusty:: It won’t matter tonight. It won’t matter who the tallest is, or the shortest. All that matters is the last man standing. And tonight, it will be me standing tall... [A snicker is heard coming from the cameraman.] Rusty:: ...in the center of that ring. [Rusty grabs a syringe, injects some more B-12, and heads toward the floor as the scene fades to black.] |
| Cliff Anderson:: I think Rusty has Little Man's Syndrome. [Rory makes his way out to the ring brandishing the old A.W.A. Atlantic Championship. He's received warmly by the crowd. He enters the ring and awaits his mystery opponent.] Cliff Anderson:: I wonder who this next mystery man will be. One of the Bastardos? Maybe Revilation? One can only wonder... ["Headed for a Heartbreak" by Winger blasts over the speakers and out walks the one...the only...] Cliff Anderson:: Lance Pennington? You've gotta be kidding me. This guy is maybe 160 pounds...soaking wet. [Lance is yet another mystery opponent that is met with a groan. Pennington looks pumped up and ready to go. Rory Blaze looks bewildered. He can't believe that they're actually going to let Lance Pennington step into the ring with him.] Cliff Anderson:: Lance Pennington was the only man to go completely winless in the old A.W.A., although I hear his been working on a new sleeperhold. This should be interesting. [Pennington climbs into the ring, waits for the bell, then charges right for the Uncensored Superstar. Rory grins and waits. Right before Lance reaches him, Blaze scores with a boot to the stomach. Rory locks Pennington in and plants him with the Rory Go Round! The fans cheer, but Rory doesn't go for the pin. Instead, he heads to the top rope. He measures Pennington, then comes off the top with P.S., Goodnight!] Jack Deruke:: Whoa! Cliff Anderson:: That was a beautiful Shooting Star Legdrop! [Rory hooks the leg for the cover. 1...2...3! In less than a minute Rory has disposed of Lance Pennington. It doesn't even look like he's broken a sweat. The Uncensored Superstar retrieves the Atlantic Championship and heads to the back.] |
| [The shot cuts to the backstage area where we find Reece Williams standing with "The Phenom" Billy Sadistic.] Reece Williams:: I'm here with Billy Sadistic, one of the most decorated men from the Atlantic Wrestling Association. How are you doing tonight, Billy? Billy Sadistic:: Not too bad, Reece. Not too bad. And while I may have had a good run in the A.W.A., tonight that means absolutely nothing. Tonight, I've got a "mystery opponent" to deal with. Judging from the quality of "mystery opponents" that have been showing up here tonight, I'm not too concerned. Let me tell you something that does concern me. Earlier today, I drew number one in the Pain Games match. That means I've got to outlast nine other men in route to winning the Comcast Television Championship. Reece Williams:: That sounds like it's gonna be pretty tough. [Sadistic gives her a sympathetic smile.] Billy Sadistic:: You took the words right out of my mouth. And it doesn't help matters that I've got Larry Thompson and his big goon Olaf gunning for me. I know my little brother Arkham wouldn't mind a shot at the Phenom, either. Doesn't matter. Tonight, I walk away with the T.V. title around my waist. But first things first. ["Paint it Black" by the Rolling Stones starts up, letting Sadistic know that it's time to head to the ring.] |
| Cliff Anderson:: Here comes the Phenom. He's a true veteran of the sport. I'm not even going to bother guessing who his opponent is going to be. Probably "Generic" Bobby Smith... [Sadistic slides into the ring and hops up onto one of the corners to await his mystery opponent. The lights go dim and the arena goes virtually silent. Suddenly, the Jumbo-tron comes to life. All that can be seen is a massive forearm clenching and unclenching.] Voiceover:: Ladies and genitals...welcome...to the Doctor's Office! [The place comes unglued as "Doctor Feelgood" by Mötley Crüe blares over the speakers.] Cliff Anderson:: My God! Is it true?! It can't be! I heard he's been in prison serving time for malpractice! [Dr. Payne steps out from the back clad in blood-splattered scrubs and the place is whipped into a frenzy! Payne makes his way down to the ring and climbs in, then hops up onto the top turnbuckle and raises his massive forearm in the air for the crowd. Sadistic doesn't look too happy about this development.] Cliff Anderson:: I think the Phenom was expecting a cake walk. [The referee calls for the bell and the match begins. Sadistic goes on the offensive first and goes right after Payne's forearm. If he can neutralize the Good Doctor's powerful grasp he can negate the strength of his dastardly Vaginal Claw. Every time Payne begins to mount a comeback, Sadistic is ready with the counter. The fans seem split between the two men.] Cliff Anderson:: Sadistic is doing a good job of staying away from that forearm, but I'm curious how much damage he's actually doing. Payne must feed that thing horse tranquilizers or something. [Sadistic whips Payne into the ropes but the Good Doctor sends the Phenom to the mat with a MASSIVE flying forearm. Sadistic is on Dream Street as Payne takes control. The crowd is getting into it. Payne hits Sweet Payne on the Phenom and goes for the cover but Sadistic kicks out at two! Payne sends the Phenom into the ropes and attempts a backdrop but Sadistic puts on the brakes and locks onto Payne's head.] Cliff Anderson:: Sadistic DDT! [No! Payne shoves Sadistic off into the ropes. The Sadistic One rebounds off the ropes and stumbles right into the Vaginal Claw! The crowd comes to their feet as Sadistic prances around in pain! Try as he might, the Phenom can't break free from the Good Doctor's powerful grip. The referee warns Payne to break the hold but it appears the the wrestling gynecologist has gone into some sort of feeding frenzy. Sadistic is now on the ground writhing in pain. The referee has no choice but to call for the bell.] Cliff Anderson:: No! The referee has disqualified Dr. Payne! [The crowd doesn't agree with this decision, and neither does Dr. Payne. Infuriated, Payne released the hold and turns his sites on referee Mitch Horton. Horton quickly bails out of the ring and sprints to the back. Payne gives chase as the fans cheer him on. Sadistic is left lying in the ring holding his gonads.] |
| [The camera cuts to the backstage area where once again we find Reece Williams. This time she's set to interview the duo from Oakland, Ninjas with Attitude.] Reece Williams:: I'm here with Ninja Van and Bovice, better known as Ninjas with Attitude. Gentlemen, how do you feel about your chances here tonight in the Pain Games match? Ninja Van:: I been wit' this one girl...my MAIN B*TCH...for at least three months...and she's startin' ta get on my nerves! Anyway... [Ninja Van looks over at Bovice.] Ninja Van:: Me an' Bovice here are gonna take out some frustrations in this Pain Games match or somethin'. Bovice:: Yeah. Yeah, we 'bout ta run train on you! Ninja Van:: And after we win this match, we can party at my parents' house. They outta town for two weeks on some vacation bull. Bovice:: Whatever! Can I stay the night tonight? And for two weeks straight?! Ninja Van:: I guess. I mean, you're my dawg an' all. Let's go bust that ass! [Ninjas with Attitude storm off set, leaving the fans and Reece Williams wondering what in the hell just happened.] Cliff Anderson:: We'll be back right after these messages. |
| [A debonair-looking man with grey slicked back hair walks into view. His face is pale but with a look of distinction. A white goatee adorns his face and there is a look of fatherliness in his eyes. A nicely tailored suit is worn by this man as he steps into the center of the shot.] Reginald Charles Killian:: My name is Reginald Charles Killian III. I would like to take this time to introduce myself to you. I started out as an orphan in the care of Birmingham, England's largest orphanage and brought myself up by my bootstraps. I am now the thirty-second richest man in the world. I have acquired numerous businesses and I now support Pacific Northwest Wrestling. I have paid generously for the ability to post advertisements on this program. You will be seeing more of them and I hope to see you fine American people in the near future. Thank you for your support. [With that, the screen fades to black.] |
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| Cliff Anderson:: Welcome back, fans. You're just in time for the main event! Pain Games! And the Comcast Television Championship hangs in the balance! Jack Deruke:: My money's on Olaf, chief. Nobody's gonna pin that guy, and they ain't gonna get him over them ropes, neither. ["Paint it Black" by the Rolling Stones hits, but Sadistic is still in the ring from his match with Dr. Payne. He's still in a great deal of pain as he sits in the corner nursing his nether regions. "F*ck the Police" by N.W.A. starts up and Ninja Van steps through the curtain. The fans aren't quite sure what to think of this guy. He climbs into the ring and the two men await their opponent. "Never Gonna Stop" by Rob Zombie hits and out trots Reginald Charles Killian, the Englishman.] Jack Deruke:: Hey, it's that fruity little bastard from that commercial. Cliff Anderson:: Just to clarify, elimination can occur four different ways. Pinfall, submission, disqualification, or being thrown over the top rope. Last man standing wins. [Killian enters the ring and the match begins. Killian and Van immediately go after the weakened Phenom. Sadistic tries to fight them off, but he's being overwhelmed. Van and R.C.K. whip Sadistic into the ropes but Sadistic hangs on. R.C.K. charges him but the Phenom backdrops him over the top rope to the arena floor!] Cliff Anderson:: Just like that! R.C.K.'s night is over. [Killian heads to the back as "Sad But True" by Metallica begins to play. Larry Thompson darts out from the back and dives into the fray! The fans clearly don't like this man. Van goes after Thompson but gets leveled with a clothesline. Thompson spots Sadistic and goes right after him. The two begin trading blows but Thompson looks to be getting the better of the exchange. Van locks onto Thompson from behind and slams him with a release German suplex! Sadistic capitalizes on the opportunity and plants Van with the Sadistic DDT and goes for the cover. 1...2...3!] [A groggy Van heads back up the aisle as "Hey Man, Nice Shot" by Filter begins to play. Clayton heads out from the back and hops into the ring. Sadistic and Thompson are going at it again. Clayton catches them both with a double clothesline.] Cliff Anderson:: Willis Clayton and Billy Sadistic were friends at one point. Clayton's been cutting weight so he can compete in the Lightning Division. [Clayton begins hammering away on Sadistic as Thompson bides his time in the corner. Having seen enough Thompson goes to intervene. Clayton saw him coming and tackles him to the ground. Willis unloads some lefts and rights before Thompson pushes him off. Willis isn't done yet. He comes at him again. Larry stops him with a big boot to the gut, followed by the N.K.N. DDT! Lights out Willis Clayton! Larry digs his forearm into the side of Clayton's face and hooks the leg. 1...2...3!] [Clayton is still dazed as he hobbles to the back. "Superbeast" by Rob Zombie starts up and out walks the massive Olaf. The crowd immediately begins booing.] Cliff Anderson:: Things aren't looking too good for Billy Sadistic. No Gimmicks Needed have him all alone, and he wasn't in too good of shape in the first place. Jack Deruke:: Hey. I'd get in there and help him out, but these guys are a little too tough for me, there, jerky. [Sadistic tries to clobber Thompson before the Giant German can get to the ring. He's unloading a flurry on Thompson's head. Olaf pulls himself up onto the ring apron but Sadistic sends him back to the arena floor with a flying elbow. Sadistic goes to work on Thompson again and locks in Phenomenal! The crowd is going wild as Thompson struggles to break free. Thompson is only inches away from reaching the bottom rope, but Sadistic pushes it away with his free foot! Thompson looks like he's starting to panic!] Cliff Anderson:: Thompson's gonna tap! Thompson's gonna tap! [Just before Thompson submits Olaf lands a heavy boot to the head of the Phenom. Olaf starts working over the Sadistic One as Thompson recovers in the corner. The Giant German splatters Sadistic with a vicious powerbomb and goes for the cover. 1...2...kickout! The fans are on their feet. Olaf looks a bit frustrated. Thompson is motioning for the Goozle. Olaf nods, then pulls Sadistic off the mat by his throat and lifts him high in the air. Sadistic pokes Olaf in the eye and the German drops him to the mat. Sadistic tries to clear his throat but Thompson is all over him!] Jack Deruke:: Sadistic almost had his head bashed apart! [Thompson backs Sadistic into the corner and scores with some knees to the mid-section. Pulling him to the center of the ring, Thompson whips Sadistic into the ropes. Sadistic rebounds and goes for a flying cross body block! Thompson easily catches him but the momentum sends him reeling backwards! The reach the ropes and both men are dumped over the top! Sadistic hits the floor first, immediately followed by Thompson! Olaf looks puzzled.] [Both men are stunned on the arena floor. "Winter Shaker" by Wovenhand starts up and out walks the Destroyer-at-Noonday! The crowd erupts as Arkham slowly makes his way down to the ring. Olaf is still looking at Thompson and Sadistic as the Kill Devil Hills Daredevil glides into the ring under the bottom rope. "Respect" by Aretha Franklin cuts in and out jogs Russell Ziset! Olaf slowly turns and notices Arkham standing behind him.] Cliff Anderson:: Olaf just towers over Arkham! And he REALLY towers over Rusty! [Sadistic and Thompson begin going at it on the outside as Olaf goes after Arkham. Olaf swings at the daredevil but he easily ducks out of harm's way. Ziset enters the ring and goes after Olaf. Olaf doesn't see him and doesn't care. He goes after Arkham again, but this time Arkham spews a cloud of green mist into Olaf's face! The fans go nuts as Olaf stumbles around temporarily blinded. Without saying a word, Arkham and Rusty simultaneously go for Olaf and dump him over the top rope! The fans are thrilled!] [Olaf tries to clear the mist from his eyes as "F*ck the Police" by N.W.A. hits. Bovice sprints out from the back and dives into the ring. Rusty goes after him but gets taken down with a clothesline. Bovice levels Rusty with a pair of running lariats before setting his sights on Arkham. Arkham waits patiently leaning against the ropes. Bovice charges him.] Cliff Anderson:: I think we know what's coming. [Arkham ducks down at the last second, but rather than pitch Bovice over the top rope, he thrusts forward and plants Bovice in the center of the ring with a stiff spear that leaves the man from Oakland gasping for air. Arkham calmly mounts the second turnbuckle and waits. Bovice is slowly back to his feet and Rusty is waiting for him. He goes for the Run-By, sending Bovice into the corner where Arkham is waiting. Rusty gives him one last shove as Arkham leaps from the turnbuckle and locks Bovice's head, then spins him around and plants him on the top of his head with the Infernal Device! Bovice's leg begins twitching as Arkham makes the cover. 1...2...3!] [Rusty rolls Bovice to the outside as Sadistic and Thompson continue to destroy the ringside area with their bodies. Olaf looks like he's slowly starting to regain his vision. "Headed for a Heartbreak" by Winger starts up and Lance Pennington surges through the curtains.] Cliff Anderson:: This is it! The final three! One of these men will walk away with the Comcast Television Championship! [Lance dives into the ring and goes for Rusty. Rusty begins hammering him with some meaty rights and lefts. Lance fights back and hits a low blow. Rusty's eyes uncross from the pain, but quickly resume their naturally crossed state. Lance turns his attention to Arkham and shoves him into a corner where he begins wailing on his mid-section with lefts and rights. Arkham is being rocked by the blows, but they seem to be having little affect. Arkham grabs Pennington by the face and pushes him out of the corner. Rusty is there to roll Pennington up with a schoolboy! 1...2...3!] Cliff Anderson:: We're down to just two...no! Pennington somehow got the shoulder up! [The fans are surprised. Arkham lands a headbutt on Rusty that sends him staggering back into the corner. Meanwhile, on the outside of the ring, Olaf has reunited with Thompson and the two are really doing a number on the Phenom. Lance goes after Arkham again and takes a wild swing. Arkham dodges out of the way and the force of the missed punch spins Lance around. Arkham hooks him from behind, lifts him into the air, and plants him with a wheelbarrow facebuster!] Cliff Anderson:: Foddershock! Lance Pennington is unconscious! [Arkham rolls him over and makes the cover. 1...2...3!] [Olaf has dragged Sadistic over to the announcer's table and has one of his massive meat hooks latched around the neck of Sadistic. He lifts him into the air and smashes him through the table with a vicious Goozle!] Jack Deruke:: Hey! Our table, here. [Inside the ring, Rusty is bombarding Arkham with rights and lefts. Arkham fires back with another headbutt that staggers the tiny grappler. Rusty is tenacious and he charges Arkham, forcing him into the ropes. Arkham scores with an elbow, but Rusty retaliates but jumping up and locking in the Gutches, an amateur front facelock. Arkham lifts Rusty into the air and both men tumble over the top rope onto the ring apron. The fans come to their feet!] Cliff Anderson:: Oh, boy! This is a precarious situation for both men! [Ziset and Arkham are quickly back on their feet and they're both trying to knock the other off the ring apron. Having left Sadistic in a pile of rubble, Olaf and Thompson venture around to the other side of the ring to get a better look at the action. Rusty goes for another takedown but Arkham catches him with a kneelift! Rusty is staggered and his grip on the top rope appears to be weak. Arkham steps back and goes to kick Rusty's hand free, but before he can do so Olaf reaches up and pulls him to the arena floor by the seat of his pants!] Cliff Anderson:: I don't believe it! Olaf and Larry Thompson have just cost Arkham the Television Championship! |
| Cliff Anderson:: I can't believe it! Little five-foot nothing Rusty Ziset is walking out of Havoc as a dual champion! [Larry Thompson grabs a chair as Arkham rakes Olaf's eyes. Arkham rolls back into the ring. Rusty struts to the back with both titles draped over his shoulders. Olaf pulls himself up onto the ring apron and steps over the top rope as Thompson slides into the ring on the opposite side.] Cliff Anderson:: They've got Arkham trapped! I gaurantee you that Thompson remembers that chairshot from earlier in the night. I bet he's looking to give Arkham a receipt. [Olaf and Thompson begin circling the Kill Devil Hills Daredevil. Arkham stands his ground in the center of the ring. Just as both men are about to pounce, a wounded Billy Sadistic slides into the ring and shoves Olaf into the ropes. Arkham rolls out of the way of Thompson's errant chairshot and the steel connects with the side of Billy Sadistic's head! Arkham bails out of the ring as Sadistic is dropped to his knees. Thompson looks furiously at Arkham before bringing the chair down across the back of the Phenom.] Cliff Anderson:: Billy Sadistic was trying to help out his younger brother, and he's being beaten severely because of it. And Arkham isn't doing a damn thing to help him! [Arkham continues towards the back as Thompson slams the chair on the mat and points to Olaf. Olaf nods, then lifts Sadistic off the ground and drives him into the steel chair with a hellacious Goozle! Thompson continues glaring at Arkham as No Gimmicks Needed are showered with garbage and insults.] Cliff Anderson:: Folks, that's all the time we've got tonight! We'll see you next week! [Fade to black.] |
